My little vacation spot...

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 "Do you have a secret vacation spot in your home?"

I took days off from posting new drawings... And this is where I've been! I love being a mom, but there are many highs and lows.... And when I get mommy's blue, I frequent this spot for my mini meltdowns, because it's so silly. Silliness have power to break random cycle of dark spells... (Is this my silent cry for help? 😳)

Current status: zombie

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Oh dear... we had a rough one last night. Baby went to bed at 10pm, then she got up at midnight and wanted to play! I have tried everything I could think of. (rocking, nursing, bottle, change, lullaby, white noise, ignore her cry, putting her in carrier and pace around, and some talking and crying to myself at the end) When she was finally asleep it was 3:30am. Then she woke up at 8am and no nap or yawn since. I'm losing my mind...

 I'm so tired 😭😭😭 

I'm so tired 😭😭😭 

My body in love

This is one of my first self-portraits as a mom. Before entering motherhood, I've imagined having a baby will be full of fluffy clouds and kisses. Boy, was I in for a big surprise! 

The new me was nursing every 3 hours for 45 min, pumped for 20 min, then spent next 10 min cleaning the pump, and carefully labeling and storing my milk away (even on days when I made only a spoonful). That gave me less than 2 hours to rest my tired, engorged and blistered boobs.

For the first 4 months I couldn't make enough milk to keep my little one happy. So I supplemented my baby with formula in-between nursing. For me, keeping her alive was the biggest challenge than anything I had ever put on my resume. Even through this madding exhaustion, I was so proud that my body was able to supply my baby with the care and nourishment she needed. This is my new body in love.